Joke jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁