Joke jokes
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.