Joke jokes

I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call a father.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?

A. System of a Down's syndrome.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, “to whom.”

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?

A: A knife has a point.

Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

me: I'm going to steal your heart.

her: omg that's so romantic!!

me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

When someone tells me to kill myself,

Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.

What do you call a ghost's fart?

A spirit bomb.

⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️

What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat

All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

To get to the other preschool.

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.