Joke

Joke jokes

Curve

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

Tree

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

Comedy

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Plane

What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!

Sorry, cringy joke.

Door

Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.

Drink

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Kid

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

Clown

The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.

Direction

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Hairline

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

Crowbar

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Grandpa

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Trans

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Dog

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.