Joke jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
Stephen Hawking walked to the shop.
I lied 😄
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.