Joke jokes

Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D

Stephen Hawking walked to the shop.

I lied 😄

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Want to hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.

Dark jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!

The Gold Coast Titans winning the NRL. Best joke ever.

Why did the baseball player go to jail?

Because he stole first base.

Where was Stephen Hawking buried?

In a black hole. 😂🤣