Joke jokes

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"

Dad: "Ask your sister."

Girl: "I don't have a..."

I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.

I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!

Website: Submit a joke :-)

Me: My life.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No!!!!"

"That's the spirit!"

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What joke do you tell an orphan?

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not your parents.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?

It doesn’t hit home.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.