Joke Jokes

Website: Submit a joke :-)

Me: My life.

I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

What joke do you tell an orphan?

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not your parents.

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No!!!!"

"That's the spirit!"

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.

Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?

It doesn’t hit home.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"

Dad: "Ask your sister."

Girl: "I don't have a..."

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.