Joke jokes

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

This text does not contain a joke.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hang ‘em?”

Hi there guys, I have no jokes, buy.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Police.

Police who?

Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

A: Tumor.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

What do you call a flat emo?

Cutting board.

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)