Joke

Joke jokes

Orphan

There is an upside to being an orphan.

Every bag of chips is family size.

Woman

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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Nose

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Baby

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

Sister

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Cow

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

Work

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

Doctor

Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?

Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.

Student

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Orphan

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop onions.

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Susie!"

Piggy Bank

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."