Joke jokes
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
The "F" in "Orphan" stands for "Famulu."
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"