Joke jokes
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.