"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Joke Jokes
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What is a good time?
Welcome to Mississippi.
Hahaha, you have no PP!
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
