Joke jokes

Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

To get to the rear end.

Sally fell off the swing.

Sally has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

Are you an egg, because you crack me up?

Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?

"Where do you live?"

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?

A Lymphomaniac.

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.