Joke jokes
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Cheesiest jokes.
I told a chemistry joke once.
There was no reaction.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!