Joke jokes
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!