Joke jokes
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?
Batman returns.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
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Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.