Joke jokes
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Why is 10 scared?
Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What comes after 69?
Period.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.