Joke jokes
I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Memes
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.