Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?
For Throwing Out the W's
ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artifical Intelligence
Did you hear about the guys who’s whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he’s all right now.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Person 1: stop making suicidal jokes!? Person 2: okay okay, I’ll cut it out. Person 1: really? Person 2: their not even that deep.
What’s one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
