What do you call a joke without a punchline?
Joke Jokes
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
