Joke jokes
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?
None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO!
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.