Joke jokes
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.