Joke jokes
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.
Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?
"This is a nice reflection!"
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.