Joke jokes
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a flat chested emo girl?
Cutting board.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, it ran because it was running from KFC.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.