Joke jokes
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
I have it.
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!