Joke jokes
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
Me.
The joke is me.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!