Joke jokes
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Me.
The joke is me.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!