Joke jokes
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.