Joke jokes
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
Memes
BAHAHA
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."