Joke jokes
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.