What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Joke Jokes
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."