Joke jokes
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Yeah.
(Not Original Joke)
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.