Joke jokes

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.

What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.

What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?

A colonoscopy.

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

What did the suicidal leprechaun say?

"Irish I was dead."

Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.

Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: *pulls out gun*

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated.