Joke jokes

My sad ass life.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it's pointless.

Let's have toast in the bath.

The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.

But there is no F.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

How do rabbits travel?

By hareplane.

What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

How do you call a cute door?

A-door-able.

I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.