Joke jokes

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.

Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?

Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.