Joke jokes
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Umm, what joke should I make?
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.