Joke jokes
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.