Joke jokes
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."