Joke jokes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!