Joke

Joke jokes

Hand

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

People

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Nun

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Orphan

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Fire

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Mop

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

Vegetable

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Pepper Spray

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.