Joke jokes
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!