When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Joke Jokes
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
I donāt like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
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Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
You shouldnāt bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What's long and black? The line at KFC.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
