Joke jokes
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.