Joke jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

Why did little sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

What did sally get for Christmas?

Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

it was just a prank bro.

Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?

Dad: Because she was made there.

Son: Thanks, Dad.

Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What's long and black? The line at KFC.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.