Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
I would roast you, but your mirror does every time you look into it.
Your so poor people break into your house and leave things
They say masterbation is better with a dead arm
Apparently I ruined that funeral
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
What did the north tower say to the south tower? Your too young to smoke
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
