What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Joke Jokes
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
it was just a prank bro.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
