Joke jokes

What's long and black? The line at KFC.

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Why don't orphans like to get lost?

Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

it was just a prank bro.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.