Joke

Joke jokes

Fire

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.

Ex

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

Number

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

Memes

Self

Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost

The image is a screenshot of a post on worstjokesever.com, displaying a conversation thread with several comments. It includes comments like 'Congratulations. No one gives a shit', 'Feeling right, looking tight. Come get the drinking shots on the rocks' and 'Ofc you're using song lyrics because you can't talk for yourself'.

Blonde

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

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  • Fish

    What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

    What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

    Depression

    Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

    Refrigerator

    You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

    Orphan

    Why don't orphans like to get lost?

    Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

    Coconut

    What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

    One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

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  • Money

    Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

    Ladder

    I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

    Fire

    I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

    Emo girl

    Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

    Because every time they scan, it scans twice.