Joke jokes

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

The cabinet had sleeping pills.

What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

They never get old.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.