Joke Jokes

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

2 pedophilles talking to each other: do you got 2 fives for 1 ten?

All jokes are funny with the correct delivery . Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

how do you pet a psychopaths cat?

you get it out of the microwave

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep

Why did Paul walker cross the street?

Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

what do you call a creepy IT teacher...........a PDF file

What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An Orphan

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”

What's the difference between orphans and cotton?

Cotton gets picked.

i want to make a joke about kobe but it wont land well

What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

I wanted to tell an animal joke but its irrelephant

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.