Joke jokes
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"