Joke jokes
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.