Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Joke Jokes
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
โHi Mom!โ
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Whatโs the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Did you hear about the woman who put her husbandโs ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Whatโs the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
