Joke

Joke jokes

Suicidal people

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Whore

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

Solar Eclipse

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Parachute

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Priest

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Cost

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

Depression

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

Priest

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

Vegan

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

Masturbation

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

Paper

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

Sex

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

Bowling Ball

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!