Joke jokes
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."