Joke jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.