Joke jokes
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.