Joke Jokes

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

"Knock knock." Orphan: "Who's there?" "Not your parents."

What do u call a blind dinosaur? *do-u-think-he-saur-us*

What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

Yes I’m CUTE

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."

I don't like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

What is an orphan's family portrait called?

A self-portrait.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈

You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈