Joke jokes

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

"Knock knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

"Would you like to play the rape game?"

"No wtf" she replied.

"That's the spirit!"

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?

They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

What is an orphan's family portrait called?

A self-portrait.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.