Joke jokes
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
What do you call 6 gay men going to war?
Rainbow 6 Siege.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.