Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Joke Jokes
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What do you call 6 gay men going to war?
Rainbow 6 Siege.
Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
