Joke jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.

What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: I don't know anymore.