Joke jokes

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: I don't know anymore.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.