Joke Jokes

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

What do u call a blind dinosaur? *do-u-think-he-saur-us*

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

I don't like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.

What is an orphan's family portrait called?

A self-portrait.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈

You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈

What are you good at? Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.

did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."