Joke jokes
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Okay here's your funny joke!
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
My wiener's small.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Abortion is not a joke.
If you read this, your life is a joke.
Are we supposed to submit jokes?
This website.
Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?
Want another joke? Look in the mirror.