Joke jokes
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Really bad penis joke.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!