Joke jokes
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!