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Pedo

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

Woman

What do women and peanut butter have in common?

They're both easy to spread.

Butt

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The butt.

The butt who?

The butt goes mooooo!

Train

Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!

Penis

Penis when sussy; bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bud buh dum boo dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum bfrhgtjkg buygubukbjkuhkbjub. AMOGUS (sus).

Lip

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

Lesbian

What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

Onion

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

Dog

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

Virgin

What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.

Bank

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.