Joke jokes
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)