Joke jokes
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
Wanna hear a mean joke?
My life.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)