Joke jokes
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."