Joke jokes
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."