Joke jokes
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Wanna hear a joke?
YOUR MOM!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
My life.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!