Joke jokes
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
Your life is the joke.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
These are meannnnn.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Have you heard about the movie about constipation?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
The joke about is stupid.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.