Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Joke Jokes
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Oofer.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
