Joke jokes

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?

Nothing, it was feeling blue.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

There is no joke.

What do you call a creepy IT teacher?

A PDF file.

What do you call a cup with a handle?

A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.