Joke jokes
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"