Joke jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.