Joke jokes
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I'm." "I'm who?" "I'm a joke!"