What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Joke Jokes
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: đ
Friend: đ€Ł
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Why couldnât 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
Your joke: you.
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.
Qui a inventé le mÚtre et qui a inventé le centimÚtre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)
Answer: Adam Ă inventĂ© le mĂȘtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).
Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...
Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
