Joke jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay man's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.