Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)
Joke Jokes
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
Guess what, chicken butt?
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
Hi person reading this.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
I can NOT take any responsibility and credit for this, it just said what's your favourite joke so I'm writing it in favor of them: A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny.
The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
I love bus jokes.
