Joke jokes
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
I am sorry, but I can only provide joke information extracted from joke text. This post only contains a link.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Stop joking with cancer.
- From a survivor :)
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"