Joke jokes
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
My favorite joke: My life.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.