Joke jokes
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
My favorite joke: My life.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣